Meeting Your Personal Needs

We all have unique needs that are important to us. Needs can be immediate—the need for information, a resource, or a connection that can be satisfied quickly—or they can run deep—inner needs that haven’t been met for a long time.

Deep, inner needs are especially unique to each one of us. Many of these needs originated in childhood; sometimes they reflect who we are. Some of them are:

  • Need for connection
  • Need to be acknowledged
  • Need for recognition
  • Need to be successful
  • Need to express oneself
  • Need to be validated
  • Need to be heard


Add your own personal needs to this list and see which ones are consistently being met. For the ones that are not being met, I encourage you to find out why and how you can meet them. Our unmet needs can stand in the way of reaching our potential. For example, if you have a need to be recognized, you may find that you are staying in a job because of the recognition you are getting, but you are overlooking the other benefits of your career. Similarly, if the need for recognition is strong for you and your personal relationships are not meeting that need, you may be experiencing a lack of intimacy.

To live our lives fully, our needs must be met. An unmet need is like a well that has run dry: when you start to fill it up, it may have to overflow before it can find the right level. Do not worry about self-talk like “These needs are silly or selfish.” Needs are just needs, and they must be met. It is important to fill up your cup so that you can offer your best to others.

After you have made a list of your personal needs, look around and see who is capable of meeting them. Just as you wouldn’t go to a hardware store to buy milk, you don’t want to ask the wrong person to fill your need. To do so can actually make things worse; you want to ask the right source for help.

Once you have figured out who is able to meet your need, ask that person if they are willing to help you. The person you choose should be someone who either has a similar need or is able to offer what you are looking for. My friend Jamie is a beautiful soul who loves to nurture others. A friend once asked her if she would help him meet his need for nurturance. Jamie was happy to spend time with this friend until he felt full. So, Jamie’s friend recognized his need, asked the right person for help, and had his need met. Now he can venture forth in his life, clear about what he wants and without his need dominating his life.

You can also fulfill your needs through your own internal resources. For example, if you need to have your accomplishments acknowledged, consider keeping a journal, where you note five things to acknowledge about yourself every day. Continue to do this until you begin to feel differently about your need for acknowledgement.

It is easy to undersell ourselves when our needs run our lives. Once are needs are met, we can come to our lives from a place of fulfillment.

During a conversation with friends, I realized that being heard and understood was an important need for me. After I realized this, I started a group of women to help me meet this need. We meet every other week. They support me and I support them in our need to be heard and understood. How wonderful it is when others listen to us without judgment and give us the gift of unconditional acceptance. This promotes healing for everyone involved. From this group, I am experiencing the benefits of having my need met. These women have become my soul friends, and I know we will nurture these friendships for years to come. I encourage you to look around for those who can help you meet your needs, and create a community of like-minded people to assist you on your journey.

And let me tell you, most people will love to be there with you. We love to support each other. Helping others heal and connect with their inner self is a gift most people are happy to share. You only need to believe and be willing to ask others to be there for you. But make sure you ask the right source!

Good luck and have fun with your needs. If you have any questions or need help discovering your personal needs, why not call me for a 30-minute free coaching session.

Zahra is a Professional Coach and Abundance Expert. She works with female creative entrepreneurs to help them market their businesses by taking internally inspired actions. Zahra helps women connect with their inner abundance to create outer results. Zahra believes that women, through their feminine essence, can be truly successful in life and business. Using the principles of Law of Attraction, Zahra teaches women how to get in touch with their passionate inner feminine wisdom and create effortlessly abundant lives. To watch Zahra speak about 'the power of gratitude,' visit To book a complimentary coaching session give Zahra a call at 604.582.7759 or visit our web at


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