Lessons of Love

Every relationship we have with another person is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. Relationships challenge us to be the best we can be, but they can also open unhealed wounds. Relationships help us learn about ourselves—who we are, our fears, and our strengths.

When we are in a relationship, we often end up learning more about ourselves than about the person we are in love with. We want the lessons from our love life to move us to the next level of loving. When that happens, we know we have learned what the Divine is trying to teach us—to love fully.

Sometimes, it’s hard to love when we have been hurt or wronged. But, as long as past hurts haven’t made us afraid to love again, we haven’t really lost anything. We must not turn these hurts into losses; instead, we should always dig for the gold in them.

Who were we when the loss happened? This question is more important than what didn’t work. If we were a loving person at the time, the loss doesn’t mean we should stop being a loving person. Instead, it means we should wipe off the dust from the loving part of ourselves that is hiding because we are afraid of getting hurt again. When we are prepared to express love, I guarantee that the opportunity to express it will present itself. Before that can happen, we must claim back the parts of ourselves that brought us where we are today.

To love fully, we need to reconnect with the love we once felt as children—innocent, anticipating, unconditional love. We need to dig for the things we did right in the relationships of our past, the times when we loved fully. By looking for what we did right despite the challenges, we can change the way we perceive ourselves and our potential for future relationships. When we get hurt, we often lose our ability to trust again. We fear we may lose the anticipation and excitement we once felt for relationships with others. We also fear the loss of innocence—our ability to love from a fresh perspective.

If you were hurt in the past, you need to look for the gifts that came out of that experience. Did you feel like a fool when love left you hurt and alone? You might ask, what’s good about looking like a fool in the name of love? The gifts you received are your vulnerability, your ability to trust even though betrayal was in store for you. What if you could love the part of you that took the risk and got hurt? How can you make that part of you work in other areas of your life? The part of you that is willing to take the big risk may get hurt big too, but it will also love big and get loved big in return.

Don’t ever lose your ability to love. Don’t ever lose your innocence or your willingness to love, even though love may have once left you empty-handed. Sure, you may be more aware next time, but you won’t become someone who never risks again. The universe is always compassionately responding to your desire to love, and it notices every effort you make in the name of love.

Last but not least, have faith while you learn the lessons of love through trial and tribulation. Have faith in the Universe, in yourself, in love, and the world’s ability to hold you and love you, no matter what.

Zahra Efan is a Life and Success Coach who specializes in helping women achieve their dreams. To book a complimentary coaching session give Zahra a call at 604.582.7759 or visit our web at

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