The Gift of Pain

We have all experienced pain at some time in our lives. When we go through a painful experience, one of two things can happen – either we become like the person who caused us the pain (often without even realizing it), or we go to the other extreme and promise ourselves we will never become like that person. These are good coping strategies, but, in the long run, we want to become balanced people. We don’t want pain to rule our lives by turning us into someone we are not.

From a spiritual perspective, pain always brings with it a hidden seed of healing. Pain motivates us to begin soul-searching. Once the experience becomes too much for our soul to bear, we begin to look for healing. And that’s the first step in becoming acquainted with our soul path. It’s a great start. We want to find the gift behind our pain. We want to learn what the pain is trying to teach us. What is the lesson? Why did our soul choose the painful path rather than the easy one? We want to create a different reality, and, at the same time, we want to make sense of the pain we are feeling.

Let me tell you this – until you learn the lesson the pain is trying to teach you, the pattern will repeat itself in different forms. For example, if you don’t like certain people, your coping strategy may be to avoid them. But once you accept the gift they are trying to give you, you will find that avoiding them is no longer necessary. You will bless them for their gift, and either they will disappear from your life, or you will choose not to associate with them. Either way, it will be a healthy decision, coming from a place of choice, not resentment or anger. After accepting their gift, you will be able to use it to change the quality of your life for the betterment of both yourself and the world around you.

Look at different areas of your life and see what and who are affecting you emotionally. If someone or something triggers you emotionally, chances are they have a gift for you. The gift may be as simple as setting new boundaries, learning to stand up for yourself, or finding your voice. No matter how bad the situation is or how much of your energy is being consumed by it, nothing will be resolved until you resolve the situation within yourself by receiving the gift of pain. You will then feel free to choose what you want to be in relation to the challenges you are experiencing. And don’t forget – the deepest wisdom never comes from an easy place; it always comes from walking a path less traveled. The path of pain, disappointment, and hurt always holds a gift at the end. If we are willing to receive the gifts of pain, then we will be able to use those gifts to direct our life whichever way we want. We become the writers of our own destiny. That is the greatest reward!

Zahra Efan is a Life and Success Coach who specializes in helping women achieve their dreams. To book a complimentary coaching session give Zahra a call at 604.582.7759 or visit our web at

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